Psych Ward

Three months on the sofa

Spent falling down

Then three weeks a dead tree

Stuck in the ground

Unable to fool them

Unable to eat

Unable to wash

Or get to my feet

I can’t bear to stay

But can’t even leave

Ground down to nothing

A body that breathes

And now I am stuck here

Wondering how long

It will take to recover

To heal and be strong

You battle a dragon

But you cannot win

Your body gets weary

And overly thin

The dragon breaks you

You no longer fight

He prowls round the hospital

Growling all night

He waits while they shield you

And play with your meds

Help you to stand again

Make sure you’re fed

And when you’re released

And you walk outside

The dragon is there

His grin sharp and wide

How long will you last

The battle begins

How long will you live

Because you cannot win


Wherever I Go

Wherever I go
I go alone
Even the brittle crack of my heartbeat
Belongs to a girl I left behind
The feet that I go on
Leave footprints to the past
And the road stretches empty ahead
Wherever I go
I bring the blade of a thin smile
That severs all connections
The downward glance of eyelid- curtains say the scene is done
There’s nothing but an empty stage behind this front
Wherever I go

The Dictatorship

I had forgotten what it felt like

to be accused of causing someone

to attempt suicide

Now memories come back

full force and I’m a child again

Only a burden

I am not myself alone

I am part of a collection

One they call the girls

I can be punished for words

That don’t come from

My own lips

She can be silenced

For bearing an opinion

From her fingertips

An irony of sorts

Attacked  for criticising someone

because they cant take criticism

Proven right and

Vulnerable as the next

But not worthy of a voice

She doesn’t know them

As i do, the way they ask for honesty

But respond to it viciously

They aren’t aware (or do not care) that you

Have been reading the poems

And stories eagerly

That you Followed the links

And gave your support

Only to feel the fallout

And the all consuming rage

That we girls know too well

Falling on our knees

Lapping from the river

Of emotional abuse

The way he used to

show up at the door

and stamp and scream and curse

Now Thirsty beyond belief

Forced to drink down poison

And smile with all your teeth

Deleted as you thought you would be

screen caps were right

Where Criticism is ‘harassment’

Hail the dictatorship

It isn’t hard to understand

That the vulnerable are not here

To be put upon a stage

Are more than a hashtag

Eagerly hijacked for cheap

Less than 8000 pounds

Fake it til you make it

Emotional and financial


feed and feed and feed

And find an echo chamber

to live inside